Legal

Community & Safety Guidelines

Vellum only works if it feels safe. These guidelines are part of our Terms, and everyone who uses Vellum agrees to follow them.

Last updated August 28, 2026

1. Our promise

We built Vellum so people — especially women — can meet others without being exposed, harassed, or spammed. You start invisible, men are verified before they can reach you, requests are filtered, and AI checks messages and photos for scams and harassment in real time. These guidelines set the standard of behaviour we expect from every member. They form part of, and should be read with, our Terms of Service.

2. Adults only (21+)

Vellum is strictly for adults aged 21 and over. You must not use Vellum if you are under 21, and you must never invite, encourage, or help a minor to use it. Any account suspected of being underage is flagged for review and removed. Full details are in our Age & Consent Policy.

3. Respect & no harassment

Treat every member the way you would want to be treated. We do not tolerate:

harassment, threats, intimidation, stalking, or bullying;
hate speech or attacks based on gender, race, ethnicity, religion, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity, or any protected characteristic;
unsolicited sexual content, sexual pressure, or degrading language;
repeated unwanted contact after someone has stopped responding or blocked you.

“No” — or silence — is a complete answer. Respect it. Men complete a Respect Check before they can reach other members; failing to live up to it has consequences.

4. No solicitation or scams

Vellum is for genuine connection, not commerce or fraud. You must never:

ask for or offer money, gifts, gift cards, cryptocurrency, bank details, or investment “opportunities”;
advertise escorting, prostitution, or any commercial sexual service;
run romance scams, phishing, catfishing, or pressure anyone to move to another platform to be defrauded;
promote products, services, recruitment, or send spam.

Never send money to someone you met online, no matter the story or the urgency — this is the single most common scam pattern. If a message asks for money, gift cards, or your bank details, report it.

5. Be real: authenticity & verification

Use recent, genuine photos of yourself. No impersonation, no stolen images.
AI photo enhancement is welcome for lighting and clarity, but the result must still look like you. Photos that misrepresent your appearance will be removed.
One account per person. No fake, bot, or duplicate profiles — we detect the same face across accounts.
Your display name is fixed after sign-up; choose the name people will know you by.
Complete verification honestly and with your own face. Phone/email and selfie verification (and, for men, the Respect Check) build your Trust Passport and unlock the ability to reach others. Verification reduces risk but is not a background check — always use your own judgement.

7. Prohibited content & behaviour

The following are never allowed on Vellum:

any content that sexualises, endangers, or depicts minors — this results in an immediate ban and, where required, a report to the authorities;
non-consensual, exploitative, or violent sexual content;
threats of violence, encouragement of self-harm, or content promoting terrorism or crime;
illegal goods or services, including drugs and weapons;
attempts to bypass safety, verification, moderation, or visibility controls;
scraping, automated access, or overloading the Service.

8. How we moderate

Vellum uses layered safety tooling: verification gates before men can reach members, request filtering and ranking instead of an open inbox, photo checks at upload and in chat, and real-time AI moderation that scores messages for scams and harassment. A risky draft is shown an “Are you sure?” note before it is sent; a risky message that is sent carries a safety reminder for the recipient; repeated risky messages are blocked and flagged to our safety team, who review reports and flagged content and can warn, restrict, or remove accounts. Moderation is done on a reasonable-efforts basis — it makes Vellum safer but cannot catch everything, so your own judgement still matters.

9. Reporting & blocking

If something feels wrong, act on it. You can block anyone instantly — blocked members never appear to each other again, and any match between you is closed — and you can report a member or a specific message. When you report, recent messages can be attached as evidence so our safety team can review what happened. Reporting is confidential; we do not tell the other person who reported them.

Please report scams, harassment, underage accounts, impersonation, and anything that made you feel unsafe. You can also email [email protected].

10. Meeting in person safely

Chat within Vellum until you feel comfortable — there is no rush.
Meet in a public place the first few times, and tell a friend where you will be.
Arrange your own transport so you can leave whenever you want.
Keep your exact home and work locations private until you trust the person.
Trust your instincts — if something feels off, leave. Your safety comes first.

If you are ever in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services first, then tell us at [email protected].

11. Consequences

Breaking these guidelines has consequences. Depending on severity and history, we may warn you, limit your visibility or reach, remove content, restrict or suspend your account, or permanently ban you. Serious violations — including anything involving minors, non-consensual imagery, threats, or fraud — result in an immediate ban and may be reported to law enforcement. These decisions are made at our reasonable discretion to protect the community.

12. Contact the safety team

Questions, concerns, or something you need to report outside the app? Reach our safety team at [email protected]. For account or general help, contact [email protected].